#126 Sean

Sixteen years after the accident, Sean was still incredibly afraid he would die from a nacho-related disaster. And then the bees came.

#125 Barbara

Barbara never got an abortion. She used the money instead to purchase a collection of plates honoring great moments in railroad history.

#123 & #124 Michael and Jane

They had been planning their holiday for months. What Michael and Jane didn't expect was their violent addiction to cocaine.

#122 Lotti

Lotti stood at the alter but as she raised the knife she realized this wasn't HER blood sacrifice. She had walked into the wrong room again!

#121 Sandra

Sandra grabbed the vibrating cone and flipped the sign to 'Do Not Disturb'. Today, she thought, the bees would not be the ones to come.

#120 Gretchen

Gretchen loved being the last one in the library, it was so peaceful. And then her abdomen exploded in a fantasia of bile and chunks.

#119 Pirate Joe

'Avast ye mateys', Pirate Joe called to the children. His nemesis must have given him the wrong address, there was no party in the fire pit.

#118 Susan

Susan walked into the concert hall, felt her bowels contract and realized her initiation had only just begun. And then the bees came.

#117 Ryan

Watching the children play Ryan was filled with a Pride only a pedophile could appreciate. Pride Vodka, refreshingly smooth.

#116 Aubrey

Aubrey grabbed the dagger as quick as she could. She didn't want grandma to wake up just yet.

#115 Bianca

Bianca looked at the cheerleading team in their pyramid. "Hopefully the garbage man doesn't mind this many dismembered bodies," she thought.

#114 Zelda

Zelda flipped through the pages of the book, while the chickens watched. She liked it when they watched.

#113 Bobby

He knew it was wrong, but his favorite part of the job was yelling "We got a bleeder!" But Bobby wasn't a surgeon. He just hated children.

#112 Meredith

Meredith looked to the sky. It wasn't every day you received the heimlich maneuver from an attractive stranger. Even if he was her father.

#111 Martin

Martin had never heard the phrase, so he bought the cow regardless of her free milk. He wanted to have sex with it, anyhow.

#110 Melissa

Melissa watched as the house started to fill up with spiders, ants and roaches she thought it couldn't get any worse. And then the bees came

#109 Frank

Frank imagined what his uncle's face would look like when he separated it from the rest of his body. Probably surprised.

#108 Maggie

'Just one of those days' Maggie thought as the snake unhinged its jaw and began to devour her.

#107 Eddy

Exactly a year after the accident, Eddy accidently ran over his wife. 'This time, no mistakes' he thought to himself.

#106 Jane

Jane grabbed the object and shook it violently, it's not like it was a bundle of dynamite or anything. Except that it was.

#105 Arthur

Arthur was shocked to find the piñata filled with blood rather than candy - and that it was his daughter, not a piñata.

#104 Mary

Mary was not pretty enough to be as vain as she was. She was, however, just pretty enough to be publicly stoned to death.

#103 Theodora

'Theodora! Theodora!' she cried, 'Theodora, I shot an intruder with your rifle!' But Theodora was very quiet indeed.

#102 Henry Wallace

Henry Wallace was not a 'pet detective' as such, he just enjoyed abducting cats.

#101 Lulu

She considered the irony as Lulu, long-time environmentalist and avid recycler, was mauled by a veritable menagerie of woodland creatures.

#100 Beaver

An avid entomologist, Beaver felt so sure his camping trip would be the best weekend, ever! And then the bees came.

#99 Olga

Olga sterilized the tabletop. It wouldn’t be long, she thought, stirring the cauldron of saliva, greedily eyeing the pancakes.

#97 & #98 Jemma & David

Jemma and David were about to have their third child! They hoped it would be a bit better than that last rubbish one.

#96 Mauricio

Mauricio held the candles tight to his chest, as he watched fourteen trees fall on his house he thought to himself 'What bad luck!'.

#95 Tammy's Hymen

Tammy's Hymen was a terrible name for the dog, especially when it came time to walk it.

#94 Emmanuel

No one made fun of Emmanuel when he danced, it was a beautiful sight to behold. And then the bees came.

#93 Susan

Susan grabbed the fish with all her might, looked it in the cold, wet eyes and began to scream "IT'LL NEVER BE THE SAME. NEVER!"

#92 Fiona

Watching her mother waiting in the post office made Fiona hungry. Hungry for human flesh.

#90 & #91 Helmut & The Shark

Helmut only spoke German, and the shark was a shark. 'This relationship is never going to work' the shark thought.

#89 Mary

They hadn't seen each other for twelve years. Mary ran towards him. As she did, her legs turned into dried figs.

#88 William

William wandered lonely as a cloud. And then the bees came.

#87 Joy

They say that joy is contagious. Joy says it’s a rash she got from swimming.

#86 Julie

Julie kept pushing, forgetting the old saying "Never push an agitated python."

#85 Ricky

His mother was right. As an agoraphobic, 'party clown' was not the best career move for Ricky.

#84 Pamela

No matter how hard Pamela threw the children at the electric fence, they always seemed to bounce back. And then she found the 'On' switch.

#83 Michael

Four hours later, the bucket was still filled with pudding and squid, yet Michael was no closer to executing his plan.

#82 Chris Tal

Ironically, Chris Tal had never been a very transperant person.

#81 Laura

Laura never liked it when it rained. It wasn't until she was caught in a thunderstorm and melted, that she realized exactly why.

#80 Johnny

Johnny looked at his reflection in the river. As he gazed into his own watery eyes, a trout jumped out of the water and bit his face off.

#79 Angela

Angela answered the door in a hurry, forgetting that earlier she had booby-trapped it. The bucket fell on her, the bucket filled with bees.

#78 Jennifer

Jennifer looked towards the horizon, though most of the fireballs had missed her- she knew it was only a matter of time.

#77 Ruth

'It wont be the end of the world!', Ruth thought as she picked up a different brand of milk. Sadly, Ruth was wrong. So very wrong.

#76 Janice

Janice held hands with the man for the entire bus ride, not realizing he wasn't sleeping at all, but had been dead for hours.

#75 Henry

Henry was incredibly allergic to bees. Walking through the woods at night always made him nervous. And then the badgers came.

#74 Bambi

As a part time entomologist, part time pole-dancer, Bambi was prepared for anything. And then the bees came. Really.

#73 Philip

Philip stood his ground. Though the mongoose was incredibly large, it probably was unaware just how useful a rigid octopus could be.

#72 Tiffany

Tiffany ate the lightbulb. She wasn't happy, but if she was going to be a polite guest, she was going to consume everything on the plate.

#71 Brigitte

Laparoscopic surgery would only reveal Brigitte's organs had been replaced by cotton. Next April Fools she would have her revenge. Probably.

#70 Thomas

Thomas loved puppies. He loved their little faces as he ran towards them screaming about socialism and recyclable materials.

#69 Gertie

Gertie looked across the room. She knew the other girls were mocking her with their buzzing sounds again. And then the bees came.

#68 Nancy

Nancy sat up quickly. Though the babies were delicious, they would have to wait. Someone was rifling through her pile of assorted papers.

#67 Andrew

Andrew woke up to find his mouth filled with ice cream. But this wasn't ice cream at all. It was a family of rats.

#66 Deborah-Lee

Deborah-Lee watched it rise in the oven. It would be the most delicious cake to ever kill a secretary. She'd create sugar roses for the top.

#65 Trudy

Trudy spent an hour getting ready for the surprise party. When she got there, she realized the surprise was in fact that she wasn't invited.

#64 Georgie Porgie

Georgie Porgie pudding and pie, kissed the girls and was put on trial for sexual harassment.

#63 Samuel

As he walked to his blind date, Samuel prayed it wasn't his cousin again, she always tried to slip him the tongue. And then the bees came.

#62 Lorraine

Lorraine watcher her husband clip his toenails. Once he left the room, she would collect them, put them in her mouth and try to whistle.

#61 The Children

The Children sat behind the couch, trying to be as quiet as possible, but the tiger could smell their delicious thighs from the other room.

#60 Jeanine

Jeanine walked through the zoo, stood at the tapir enclosure and wept. "Oh, Charles" she wailed.

#59 Manfred

Manfred wasn't able to join his friends at the cinema, he was too busy dusting his collection of antique petrified children.

#58 Constance

Constance quickly looked through the files. It would be difficult, but it wouldn't be the first time she'd have to try to kill her mother.

#57 Audrey

Audrey didn't have enough change for her bagel. She thought she did, but she didn't. She turned to leave the store- And then the bees came.

#56 Marlene

Marlene's scuba tank had been tampered with. She didn't know who replaced the oxygen with nacho dipping cheese, but they would pay.

#55 Winifred

Winifred never felt more at peace than when she was drinking ale from the skulls of her enemies.

#54 The Dentist

By day, everybody knew him as "Brad", but when the lights went out, and the latex was on, he liked to call himself "The Dentist".

#53 Mother

Mother always started her day with a cool glass of orange juice, two slices of toast and eight valium. Then the day really began.

#52 Esther

Had Esther not been born a vacuum, she would have been a Marxist. Or a blond. But never both.

#51 Cyril

Cyril touched his face, covered his body in butter and moaned in a C flat. It was going to be a good monday.

#50 Samantha

For her birthday, Samantha decided to host a picnic. She prepared a lavish banquet and invited all her friends. And then the bees came.

#49 Leroy or whatever

The divorce was difficult for the boy. Mainly because he realized his parents had no idea what his name was. Leroy or whatever, who cares?

#48 Chauntelle

Everyone was looking at Chauntelle. She felt like the most popular girl at the disco. She wasn't, people were staring in fear and disgust.

#47 Simone

Simone desperately searched the pages of the magazine- but she never found shoes to go with her personality, because she was a total bitch.

#46 Grace

Grace picked up the donkey and with all her force, threw it at her father. That'll teach him, she thought.

#45 Meg

Meg stumbled into the hallway and checked herself in the mirror. It would have been a lot easier if her head was still attached, she thought

#44 Frank

Frank found a penny, picked it up, and all day long he really did have good luck. And then the bees came.

#43 Maggie

It wasn't that the Dolphin was particularly sexy, but after it took Maggie to dinner and a movie, she felt it was only polite to put out.

#42 Father Thomas

Confession was his favorite part of the day. Father Thomas never told anyone what he was doing under his robe but he had a feeling they knew

#41 Coach

The soccer game was tied at 2-2. He was desperate, so Coach decided to use his secret weapon, his machete.

#40 Gordon

Gordon cleaned his glasses three times, then went back to disemboweling the moose. He had to hurry if he wanted to get to the movie on time.

#38 & #39, Martha & Victor

Martha came home to find that Victor's 'decapitatron' had worked all too well. This was going to take a lot of mopping.

#37 Josh

Josh washed his hands a few more times. Was it everyones blood, or just his mothers, that seemed to resist industrial cleaning products?

#36 Susan

The submarine felt cramped and claustrophobic. Suddenly, Susan regretted bringing all the bodies with her.

#35 Richard

Richard woke up in a pool of blood to find his wife standing over him, shaving a pig. But where on earth could his glasses be?

#34 Matthew

Matthew knew his coffee tasted slightly unusual. Maybe it was the soy milk, maybe it was the snake venom, he couldn’t tell for sure.

#33 Marie

If Marie were an animal, she would be a cockroach. Because people always find it necessary to crush her children.

#32 Denise

Denise didn't really understand what the policeman had said. Deciding to take the ball-gag out of his mouth was, however, a mistake.

#31 Marty

People thought Marty speaking in rhyme was anything but lame. Too bad for him, and then the bees came.

#30 Monica

Monica was not a very bright girl, so it came as no surprise when a coyote ate her face late one night.

#29 Barbara

In her rush to leave the house, Barbara forgot she had left her children in the oven. Needless to say they were over-done when she got back.

#28 Susan

Susan felt she had no other option than to use her kitten to disarm the thief. Luckily she had stuffed Fluffy with daggers the night before.

#27 Lawrence

It wasn't long until Lawrence realized his telekinesis was really just his obesity playing tricks on him.

#25 & #26, Brian & Emma

Though Brian said he loved her, Emma couldn't help but feel the crossbow pointed at her face was saying something else.

#24 Brian

Brian stood in the middle of the room naked, he knew he was waiting for something, he just couldn't remember what. And then the bees came.

#22 & #23, Wendy & Marge

Wendy and Marge celebrated the acceptance of same-sex marriage in their state. They were so happy! And then the republican bees came.

#21 Dylan

Dylan wanted to be cool like all the other kids his age, but his mom wouldn't let him play with such riffraff. Being thirty sure was tough.

#20 Eloise

Religion never played a large role in Eloise's life, until she was burnt at the stake, of course.

#19 Taylor

Taylor went to the aquarium hoping to see exotic marine life. She left with hepititus-B.

#18 Millie

Millie regretted the affair after the doctor failed to announce the gender of the baby- and instead of a cry she heard a faint roar.

#17 Eleanor

Eleanor stirred her drink and gaily remembered the past twenty-four hours with a private smile. And then the bees came.

#16 Gina

Gina eventually lost the staring competition after the giant squid took her so far under the sea that her head exploded

#15 Horatio

Horatio had always wondered what amputated genitalia would look like. Finding out was so very bittersweet.

#14 Pubert

Pubert didn't have many friends, and it had everything to do with the odor that would emit from his hands when he became aroused.

#12 & #13, Mitch & Anna

Mitch told Anna he loved her very much, held out a beautiful ring and proposed. And then the bees came.

#11 April

Tragedy struck when April decided today would not only be roller-skate day, but hold sharp objects in your mouth day, too.

#10 Margaret

It was a hammer, and not curiosity that killed the cat, but only Margaret and the hammer would know for sure.

#9 Conchita

Conchita was sixteen, of spanish heritage and nothing morbid ever happened to her. And then the bees came.

#8 Winston

It wasn't that he was a homosexual, Winston's parents just didn't like him that much.

#7 Anita Dong

Anita Dong was a sad child.

#6 Ian

Ian had been told several times not to take them, but it wasn't until his mother dosed the cookies with arsenic, that he finally learned.

#5 Michael

Michael thought about all the people in his life that he loved, and it was then he realized that heroin was the only one to love him back.

#3 & #4, Sarah & Janice

"Janice?" Sarah whispered, "Janice- I just wanted to tell you, that wasn't lime soda, it was bleach." But from Janice came no reply.

#2 Paula

Paula frowned. In the dark everyone looked like her boyfriend. But at which silhouette to aim the gun? This truly was a terrible Wednesday.

#1 Ashley

It was when it gargled hysterically that Ashley realized the toilet was probably not the best method to dispose of kittens.